Member-only story
Budget Sex Toys: A Review
For my dad’s present last Christmas, we got him tickets to some sort of classic car show later this year. With the pandemic, it got cancelled, so recently we got some credit with Groupon.
Without wishing to give away how little I spend on family gifts, my fiancee looked at things available for the same price and the only option of interest was a basic sex toy kit. Because if you can’t turn the money from your father’s returned christmas present into cheap sex toys, then what’s the point of living?
The other day, our box of discount perversion arrived, and after drinking what I hoped was the right amount to ensure that I was open to new ideas but my dick still worked (two micheladas and about five shots of bourbon, ladies…) we got down to business. Here’s what we ended up with.
1. A small vibrating nub (silver).
2. Some sort of knobbly sex dalek.
3. A rabbit… thing…
4. A cock ring that looked like a hair curler.
5. A small butt plug.
The silver bullet (which I believe is actually a trademarked name for a very similar but different product) functioned as the engine of the whole set, designed to be inserted into everything else, including each other.