Flush Royals

I was dealt a pretty good hand in life, by being born a straight white man in a developed country. Still, even winning hands can have low cards, and as such one of the minor problems I was stuck with was being born in the UK, which means I have to have an opinion about the Royal family.

I don’t care about the Royals. I honestly don’t. They seem like a silly idea, and I wouldn’t really break stride if we stuck their heads on pikes. But I also don’t spend all my time in frothing hatred of them. I just think they’re one more stupid, antiquated thing that British society clings to and would be much healthier casting off.

Except even that is an opinion, so now I’m part of the discourse. Which is bad enough on a day to day basis, but God help anyone in Britain any time there is any big Royal story.

This has been one of those periods, as Prince Harry and his new wife, the erstwhile Meghan Markle, were interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and revealed that they Royal family are racist and the British press are a bunch of slimy, immoral parasites.

It’s one of those situations where everyone involved needs a good slap. Anti-vaxx apologist Oprah Winfrey is a literal billionaire thanks in part to her platforming of quack medicines. Harry and Meghan try to act like they just want to be left alone to live a “normal life,” which is odd considering they’ve recently signed a deal with Netflix despite having the wealth and means to vanish entirely if they were really so determined to be private citizens.