How Fucked Are We? A coronavirus special.

A couple of people have asked me recently, in light of COVID19’s continued spread, how worried they should be.

First, a straight answer: Very. I mean, there’s a crisis and you turn to me?! I’m not a doctor. I’m not a scientist or even a degree holder. I’m only a minister thanks to that one online scam church and they never even sent me my certificate.*

If I’m the person you turn to in an emergency, then frankly, you have bigger worries than a virus.

That being said I am a nerd, a cynic and a qualified opinion spouter. So, with the important caveat that I am NOT QUALIFIED TO WEIGH IN… here’s what I reckon.

1. Your Kids Will Be Fine.

If you’ve got kids, I guess my best advice is to go out for cigarettes and not come back, because they seem just exhausting.

If, for reasons that baffle me, you have grown fond of them (or, more likely, your partner knows you don’t smoke and tackles you in the driveway) then take heart: The Coronavirus doesn’t seem to affect children. They appear to get it less than adults, and the ones that do get it seem to only develop mild symptoms. Your kids are likely to be totally okay.

2. The Media Isn’t To Blame.

I’ve seen a lot of people complaining that the media are blowing this whole thing out of…