Late Review: “Rambo: Last Blood.”

Rambo 5 (officially “Rambo: Last Blood") picks up ten years after Rambo 4 (officially “Rambo”) left off, because the titles of these movies have never made any sense. Despite presumably being wanted for a slew of war crimes in other countries, John Rambo has somehow returned to America and is living quietly on the family ranch in Arizona. He spends most of his time riding horses and taking pills.

Due to some bad editing, we're not sure what pills he takes. I'm told that they are brain pills for his PTSD in the extended cut, but as I saw this movie for free on Amazon Prime (more on that later), it was the theatrical cut and those scenes were missing.

As a result, I logically assumed Rambo was taking pills for some sort of medical ailment after decades of being shot/stabbed/blown up/fired out of a canon/whatever the fuck else he's endured. In 1988 he got shot through one side and out the other, and fixed the problem by pouring gunpowder into the wound and setting himself on fire. You can't tell me that shit doesn't catch up with you as you get older.

In any event, Rambo now has a father-daughter relationship with his never-before-mentioned-sister's kid. In the last movie, someone literally asks Rambo if he has a family and he shrugs that "my father could still be alive...", which is a pretty harsh response when he turns out to have definitely had a 100% living sister. Either way, she died at some point in the ten years since Rambo came home from Burma and now Rambo and the Mexican house keeper have…