Movie Review: “The Tomorrow War.”

The Tomorrow War is an Amazon Prime exclusive starring Chris Pratt, easily the third best Chris in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

We open in media Res for no real reason, and then flash back to the start of it all, when Chris Pratt, playing a Chris Pratt type character, is watching the soccer world cup.

He’s not, obviously, but he’s watching what Americans think the World Cup looks like. Which is immaterial, as in the middle of a televised game a time portal opens up and a woman comes through to literally shout the plot of the movie directly at the viewers. It’s all downhill from there.

In the spirit of this lazy writing, for the rest of this review I’m going to periodically open a portal to other, better movies they could have made.

The Time Soldiers coming through the Time Portal explain that in the future, aliens have invaded and humanity is losing the war against them. They need to recruit able bodied soldiers from the present to travel forwards in time and fight for the future.

If we’ve learned nothing else from the pandemic and Trump, it’s that people will choose to believe whatever they want regardless of…