Nuclear Padlocks and Why We’re All Fucked.
For a long time, I’ve been interested in the field of Nuclear Semiotics, which- Wait, come back.
I know, I know, that sounds so nerdy that 30% of everyone’s virginity just grew back, but bear with me. Let’s ease into this, okay? How about a little on my day, first?
A guy came into the hardware store today with a faulty padlock. It was the kind with numbered dials rather than an actual key, and it was indeed faulty. So we gave him a new one, and this man — who, like most of my customers, was at least eleventy three years old —could…